Tales of my bizarre childhood – a funny memoir.

Growing up in an isolated Australian mining town can make or break you. Especially, if you are different. The (un)Lucky Sperm is a funny memoir — a collection of honest, harrowing and absurd accounts.

Until he was seventeen, Brett Preiss lived in the dusty outback of Australia, where he was one of four siblings in a dysfunctional family. He learned how to survive under the most bizarre and extraordinary circumstances.

In this book, he shares the trials and tribulations of his youth through anecdotes that will leave you in tears of joy or sorrow. Travel back to the ’60s and ’70s and watch Brett transform from a sperm to adolescence. Follow him having his first piano lesson, first sewing machine, first kiss and first ejaculation.

The story is moving and disturbing, brutal yet hilarious. Cheer him along in his struggles and triumphs until he leaves the desert and heads off to college.

If you like stories full of sarcasm and observational humor, then you are going to love this book.

Amazon Audiobook

Excerpt from The (un)Lucky Sperm © Copyright 2023 Brett Preiss

Part I

Seeds of Fate

It was 1962. Dad had an orgasm, while mum was thinking about her new shoes…. and so, my journey began.

Before I knew it, I was suddenly under pressure to make a decision that would affect the rest of my life. As a sperm I had to decide to either sink or swim. It was a very hasty decision amidst all the noise and flurry of millions of my competitive spermatozoa friends. I had no idea where I came from, where I was heading, what was I going to do when I got there, and why I had no arms or legs.  I just knew I had to stay afloat, fight the current, and struggle the tide…. which coincidentally, became metaphors for the rest of my life.  So, I just went for it. I made it to the finish line first and as result, I now have to feed myself and work every day. How (un)lucky was that?

They say the odds of us being conceived comes out to 1 in 400 trillion. Yep, the fact that we’re alive, healthy and able to work from 9 to 5 is literally a miracle. I once heard a Buddhist version of the probability on this ‘miracle’. Imagine a lifebuoy thrown into an ocean, with only one turtle living in all of the oceans, swimming around underwater somewhere. The chances of me being conceived is the same as that of Mr Turtle sticking its head out of the water, into the middle of that life donut. Amazing. Probably the same odds as my dad having an orgasm, sober.

So, I guess that means I was the lucky sperm, right? Or unlucky, depending how life plays out after one’s delivery. It is all a matter of perception. Some people look at life as a glass half empty. Others see it half full. Some parents think it is normal to tell their child that if they eat watermelon seeds a tree will grow in their stomach. I think it is absurd. Some people might find collecting toenail clippings as fascinating. I find it weird. Some parents think spanking a child is ok. I don’t. I mean, when they smack hard enough to draw blood, I think a line has to be drawn as well, don’t you?

Speaking of blood, on April 20^th (funnily enough, the same day as Hitler’s birthday I might add) they pulled me out of my mother’s vagina with forceps (because mum couldn’t be bothered pushing), cut the only authentic connection I ever had to her, and slapped my ass until I screamed. They wrapped me up in some cheap tea towel and whisked me away to the baby room, so my drunk father could try and wave at me. If that wasn’t enough trauma for one day, the very next morning, the very same doctor was standing between MY legs this time, removing my foreskin. Ouch! Why were they clamping my penis and hacking into it with a blade? Apparently, just so I could ‘look like daddy’. The worse thing is, I didn’t get a say in it at all. Mongrels.

It wasn’t long before my boozed-up daddy with the neighbour’s tipsy seventeen year old daughter under his arms, were at the hospital standing beside me and my pretty mother. Mum may have been drained from giving birth and her lady bits may have been in tatters but she always wore lippy and looked stunning. Dad bent over and covered me with his beer breath declaring, “We’re going to call him Bradley”. Mum, feeling quite irked with her drunk husband and merry neighbour, rolled her eyes over to the television to see what she was watching before the two undesirable guests turned up. It was a western television series starring James Garner as Brett Maverick. Without a second thought, she rolled her eyes back to Bonnie and Clyde standing beside her bed, and declared. “Nope, he will be called Brett. Now the both of you piss off.”

I can only be thankful mum wasn’t watching ‘Lassie’.

Lucky or unlucky, that set the scene for my bizarre childhood.

Joel Stafford

My profession is online marketing and development (10+ years experience), check my latest mobile app called Upcoming or my Chrome extensions for ChatGPT. But my real passion is reading books both fiction and non-fiction. I have several favorite authors like James Redfield or Daniel Keyes. If I read a book I always want to find the best part of it, every book has its unique value.

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Evan West lives, breathes, and exists for everything film. His heart beats at 24 frames per second. He aspires to be much more than a film trailer editor, but he’s lucky to live and work in Hollywood.

When Evan crashes into a telephone pole one night, he’s thrust into a temporal vortex—and suddenly transported back to Hollywood in 1946 during the making of the beloved Christmas movie It’s a Wonderful Life. Despite his confusion about how he went back in history, he befriends Jimmy Stewart, which leads to a job with director Frank Capra and to Dorothy Paige, the soul mate he could never find in his own time.

Evan also meets Dr. William Cooper (Coop), a brilliant scientist and fellow time traveler who worked for Nikola Tesla in 1899. Can they save the film from being defiled by a greedy studio mogul and protect this timeless classic?

When Evan and Coop both notice alarming physical and psychological changes, they know they must leave 1946…or die trying. Will they remain trapped in the 1940s, or can they solve the problem of time travel and escape back to their own time? If so, how can Evan leave the love of his life?

Don’t miss this spectacular story of obsession, love, courage, and adventure during the Golden Age of Hollywood.

An audiobook produced by e-Audio Productions

Joel Stafford

My profession is online marketing and development (10+ years experience), check my latest mobile app called Upcoming or my Chrome extensions for ChatGPT. But my real passion is reading books both fiction and non-fiction. I have several favorite authors like James Redfield or Daniel Keyes. If I read a book I always want to find the best part of it, every book has its unique value.

medium.com/@joelbooks

The post It’s a Wonderful Time by Doug Stebleton and Reinhard Denke appeared first on Joelbooks.

A personal message from the author:

When I visited Longwood, the most popular tourist attraction in Natchez, Mississippi, I came away yearning to know more, particularly about the woman behind the man who built this 30,000 square foot unfinished mansion on the threshold of the Civil War. Somehow, I knew that “Julia” wanted her story to be told. After researching old letters, court documents, photos, newspaper publications, and genealogy records, I'm happy to introduce you to Julia, Mistress of Longwood. As one reviewer wrote, “Prepare to fall in love with Julia.”

— Linda Metcalf

Go back in time to the 19th-century Deep South when America hurtled slowly to a fiery eruption. Learn how a privileged naive girl born into an aristocratic slave-holding family evolves into a woman of courage, determination, and resilience while overcoming unspeakable trials and prejudices. Based on actual historical events told through fictional diary entries from 1834-1897.

Amazon Audible

Joel Stafford

My profession is online marketing and development (10+ years experience), check my latest mobile app called Upcoming or my Chrome extensions for ChatGPT. But my real passion is reading books both fiction and non-fiction. I have several favorite authors like James Redfield or Daniel Keyes. If I read a book I always want to find the best part of it, every book has its unique value.

medium.com/@joelbooks

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Stories, prayers, scriptures and thoughts God has been waiting Your entire life to share with you

Collectively, we attempt to write and develop material to simply communicate the love, mercy and clarity that a personal and intimate relationship with God that only He can provide. We hope to convey the reasonableness of the Christian faith and how that faith can be experienced in a practical application and on a daily basis. The journey to that loving relationship with God that begins with the simple first step of prayer.

The messages we try to convey are scriptural in basis, told in short-story form, supported with short and simple prayer. Some have said that Jesus was the greatest-story teller in how he used ‘parable' to demonstrate His message. As Jesus taught His disciples by both example and by story (‘parable'), we hope to convey His message of hope in short-story form to make it easier to learn and understand how life in this existence on earth gains greater meaning once we have developed a consciousness in Christ that is guided and strengthened with the filling of The Holy Spirit.

The topics of conversations you can have with God are truly endless. In this audiobook, you will discover you can speak with God on healing, understanding conversation and prayer, forgiveness, extending grace, loving others, thankfulness, giving, motherhood, father hood and father god, finding peace and so much more.

This wonderful opportunity to gain peace, comfort, understanding and solace in the sometimes dark and trying times of this life we live on earth, begins simply with your first heart-felt and humble prayer to God.

Joel Stafford

My profession is online marketing and development (10+ years experience), check my latest mobile app called Upcoming or my Chrome extensions for ChatGPT. But my real passion is reading books both fiction and non-fiction. I have several favorite authors like James Redfield or Daniel Keyes. If I read a book I always want to find the best part of it, every book has its unique value.

medium.com/@joelbooks

The post Please Just Talk With Me by The Romans 1017 Collective appeared first on Joelbooks.

A personal message from the author:

My wife and kids listened to my courtroom stories as a New England litigator for years. Finally they convinced me to take a deep dive into the world of crime thrillers.

–John Crossan

When his girlfriend, Jillian Russo, washes up on the shore of the Merrimack River in Essex County, Massachusetts, Carmen Vaughn immediately finds himself the main suspect in her murder investigation. Desperate, he turns to his college professor and former criminal prosecutor, Timothy Pickering, for help clearing his name and figuring out what really happened.

Against his family’s wishes, Pickering decides to help and recruits Adrian Watson, a private investigator who’s worked other government cases in the past. Despite their diligent work, the prosecutors on Jillian's case manage to stay one step ahead as lead attorney Victoria Donovan conspires to bury vital evidence that could acquit Carmen of the charges. As the investigation progresses, Pickering and Watson suspect that someone else was dating and likely killed Jillian . . . but knowing it and proving it are two different matters, and time is running out.

Joel Stafford

My profession is online marketing and development (10+ years experience), check my latest mobile app called Upcoming or my Chrome extensions for ChatGPT. But my real passion is reading books both fiction and non-fiction. I have several favorite authors like James Redfield or Daniel Keyes. If I read a book I always want to find the best part of it, every book has its unique value.

medium.com/@joelbooks

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A Quick Startup Guide

A personal message from the author:

The book primarily focuses on independent entrepreneurs to educate themselves about business strategies and funding, to ignite their business to a financially independent life.

–Jyothi Karthiga

Success has nothing to do with introversion, extroversion, or personality type. There's a key set of traits that set truly successful entrepreneurs apart and allow them to achieve success.

You can always scale a business once things start to take off, but it is hard to rescue a business that's over-extended from the start. Be strategic in the products or services you offer in the beginning, build a loyal following, and you can grow and expand from there.

If you are an solopreneur trying to build a business of your dreams, then this book is the right choice. You don't need to have a formal education to become a successful entrepreneur. In fact, many of the world's most successful entrepreneurs don't have degrees or formal qualifications. What they do have is a desire to learn, grow, and develop themselves.

This book, How to Be a Business Magnet, takes you through the complete guide to turn your side hustle or dream into a successful startup. The author has written down the milestones and resources that help any person to build their own organization from scratch.

Joel Stafford

My profession is online marketing and development (10+ years experience), check my latest mobile app called Upcoming or my Chrome extensions for ChatGPT. But my real passion is reading books both fiction and non-fiction. I have several favorite authors like James Redfield or Daniel Keyes. If I read a book I always want to find the best part of it, every book has its unique value.

medium.com/@joelbooks

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A Dance-It-Out Creative Movement Story for Young Movers (Book 4)

A personal message from the authors:

We created the book I wished for as a tired mom. If I had a time machine, I'd gift this to myself, sit on the couch, and give my young daughter the imagination stage.

She'd LOVE dancing the characters alongside a real
BALLERINA : Princess, Horse, Unicorn

— Author of Once Upon a Dance 

Unicorns and Horses and Snakes, oh my!

Princess Naomi Helps a Unicorn is a 2021 Mom's Choice Gold Award Recipient.

Interactive movement wrapped up in a charming story of sibling angst, anger management, compassion, and triumph. Grown-ups sit; kiddos move and practice dance fundamentals.

Fed up with her annoying sister, Naomi storms out of the castle, only to discover a unicorn in need of help. With a sense of purpose, she quickly forgets her anger.

Ballerina Konora is featured on each page as optional movement guide for kids who want to get up and dance.

The books can be used as a supplement for dance or theater studio classes or camps. Princess Naomi Helps a Unicorn would be pair well with themes such as dance, unicorns, princess tales, horses, mythical animals, flowers, and castles.

The Dance-It-Out! movement journeys are ideal for dance, pre-ballet, creative movement, preschool, daycare, early learning, physical education, homeschool, kindergarten, or first-grade activities. The full collection features male, female, and nonbinary diverse characters. Books make a great gift for boys or girls interested in dance, ballet, gymnastics, or yoga, or reluctant readers who enjoy getting up and moving.

Ideal for ages 4-7

Amazon B&N Draft2Digital

Joel Stafford

My profession is online marketing and development (10+ years experience), check my latest mobile app called Upcoming or my Chrome extensions for ChatGPT. But my real passion is reading books both fiction and non-fiction. I have several favorite authors like James Redfield or Daniel Keyes. If I read a book I always want to find the best part of it, every book has its unique value.

medium.com/@joelbooks

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A personal message from the author:

Ever since I was a kid, I've loved stories about liars with good intentions who learn along the way. So Lies and Magic is just that: my favorite kind of adventure, written with a younger version of myself as the audience. I hope you enjoy it as much as that goofy kid would've!

— Will Boehm

Gar and Alicia are young runaways who get kidnapped and then adopted by a tribe of goblin nomads. Gar Bugbucket is a whimsical gnome that bends the truth to try to bring joy to the world, and Alicia Anvilporter is a dwarf seeking happiness anywhere she can find it — including her neighbor’s purses.

Together they journey to learn about themselves and the world around them, all while solving challenges they face with cleverness rather than aggression. However, when their kingdom’s Wizard Guild moves against their homes, the pair are forced to use everything they’ve learned to save everything they fled.

Along the journey, our new friends encounter dangerous kelpies, goblin romance, greedy wizards (and their lawyers), and they learn together how magic can both lie and tell the truth. Join me, and together we will join them as they discover lies and magic.

Amazon Author's website

Joel Stafford

My profession is online marketing and development (10+ years experience), check my latest mobile app called Upcoming or my Chrome extensions for ChatGPT. But my real passion is reading books both fiction and non-fiction. I have several favorite authors like James Redfield or Daniel Keyes. If I read a book I always want to find the best part of it, every book has its unique value.

medium.com/@joelbooks

The post Lies and Magic by Will Boehm appeared first on Joelbooks.

The Knowledge of the Willing

The YOU beyond you takes readers on a journey through both the seen and unseen toxicity of our modern environment. It deals with both mental and physical assaults on the minds and body. And it gives users what Najjar hopes will be liberating tools.

Najjar starts from basic precepts – such as the fact that all experience is subjective – and builds from there. He challenges the notion that society's beliefs are final and argues that many of its assumptions hinder our understanding of Reality. In his view, we have lost touch with what we are and, as a result, are no longer happy and functional.

Najjar is an inclusive writer who aims The You Beyond You for readers of all ages. It covers practically every dimension of life, from one's frame of mind to metaphysics. And it highlights the mental habits people consciously and unconsciously adopt, providing a much-needed roadmap for how to escape them.

Critically, Najjar points out; human life does not have to follow the pattern set out by the culture. Instead, each person can follow a path to their spiritual awakening.

Najjar states that the book is “a must-read of at least once-in-a-lifetime for everyone willing to experience the real dimension of existence and go beyond limited norms.” The book aims to convey the idea that conscious thoughts are just the tip of the iceberg. Human beings, Najjar asserts, are a far more profound and richer phenomenon than the culture admits.

After reading the book, Najjar says that readers should better understand the mental habits that are “polluting [their] bodies.” They should also be better able to overcome the thoughts that frame our minds and destroy mental peace. And they would have a much better understanding of the dynamics that form our Reality. Ultimately, Najjar wants the work to empower people, allowing readers to take control of their lives, both for the betterment of themselves and others. The goal is to guide readers towards a state of spiritual enlightenment – a form of sustained bliss and levity. That, in his view, is a path to a better world.

Read online The You Beyond You by Ramzi Najjar

Joel Stafford

My profession is online marketing and development (10+ years experience), check my latest mobile app called Upcoming or my Chrome extensions for ChatGPT. But my real passion is reading books both fiction and non-fiction. I have several favorite authors like James Redfield or Daniel Keyes. If I read a book I always want to find the best part of it, every book has its unique value.

medium.com/@joelbooks

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Why We as Leaders Must Change for the Change to Last

A personal message from the author:

After a humiliating failure leading a Change effort more than 20 years ago, I set out to understand why we had failed. I soon learned that 2/3 of change efforts fail. I wanted to know why. Why do we keep trying to change our organizations when we have such a terrible track record? And why are we as leaders so awful at this?

It started me on a 20-year journey during which I led countless changes…a hostile takeover, a leveraged buyout/take private, an IPO, three CEO transitions, two startups inside large organizations and too many other changes to count. I also spent this time studying other companies that were going through changes and learning what differentiated the winners and losers. And I studied the thousands upon thousands of pages in the literature on Change Management.

What I’ve learned, and what I’m certain of are two things:

• Having leaders who model change is by no means the only important factor in successful change efforts. But not having leaders who truly support and model the change— or worse, having leaders who act incongruently or in any way unsupportive—has to be the single biggest factor in change efforts that fail. So many things can go wrong in a change. This one thing must go right.
• And, if we want successful, lasting change, we should not try to get people to change their behaviors. Trying to get people to change their behaviors is actually counterproductive. Instead, what we must do is to get people to WANT to change their behaviors. The former yields mere compliance; it’ll last a while but usually not for long. The latter is contagious, energy-inducing, and lasting. And the difference is monumental.

— Al Comeaux

There’s a reason two-thirds of organizational change initiatives are unsuccessful and an estimated $2 trillion is wasted on change each year: change efforts are largely one-dimensional. Now, Change (the) Management brings a second dimension to the conversation. In addition to setting rational goals, leaders also must become deeply involved in the change process—not outsourcing it to others. They must pull their people through the change, reaching them on an emotional level rather than pushing change on their people transactionally. With well-told stories that illustrate the need for this fundamentally new way of thinking, this book finally speaks straight to leaders to help them re-think how to manage change…and even how to lead every day. Instead of drawing on the work of outside observers, Change (the) Management draws on the author’s decades of experience in-seat as a change champion and senior executive at well-known companies as well as decades of research on the subject of organizational change.

Read online Change (the) Management by Al Comeaux

Joel Stafford

My profession is online marketing and development (10+ years experience), check my latest mobile app called Upcoming or my Chrome extensions for ChatGPT. But my real passion is reading books both fiction and non-fiction. I have several favorite authors like James Redfield or Daniel Keyes. If I read a book I always want to find the best part of it, every book has its unique value.

medium.com/@joelbooks

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